Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sell Picks And Shovels

When there's a gold rush, sell picks and shovels. In the 1849 California gold rush, people flocked to California hoping to strike it rich, expecting to just pick up gold off of the ground. The people that made the real money were the ones that sold the equipment to the '49ers.

The Great eBay Gold Rush is much the same. There's a ton of people selling those eBay startup kits, complete with supplier contacts, auction management software, research tools, website setup kits and hosting services, all for a convenient monthly service fee of only $39.95... no, $49.95... no, $59.95 per month. I should know, I bought one of those. The professional business coaching was $6,500. But that's okay, I'll be making that much every month before you know it. The incorporation fees were $1,200. But that's okay, I'll save that much on taxes every year, and I'll be making that much every week. Never mind that the coaching didn't teach me anything that I didn't already know. Never mind that the suppliers are just re-marketing stuff that I already get for less from the original wholesale supplier anyway. Never mind that the name-brand suppliers won't deal with eBayers. And never mind that the ones that do will gladly sell me merchandise at the going rate on eBay, leaving me with no margin to make it worthwhile to sell the stuff. It's too late to get a refund. Like in college, you can't refund your tuition. Especially in the school of hard knocks.

Allright, I'm done blowing my stack about the Great eBay Gold Rush scam. The next big industrial gold rush is to this fake environmentalism, and Al Gore's carbon credit shell game.

The Financial Times is usually going off on some marxist ideas, but this time, they busted the scam on carbon credits. They report that the growing concern that Al Gore has generated over environmentalism and global warming has resulted in a "green gold rush" -- a burgeoning economy in the trade of carbon credits. DuPont has convinced concerned enviroweenies to pay them (DuPont) $4 per ton of CO2 that they will then eliminate from their plant.

Pardon me, while I eliminate some intestinal gas. You now owe me $4 for eliminating green gas in the house.

Carbon credit trader Blue Source is taking payments for pumping CO2 into oil wells in order to pump the thick, energy-rich, albeit carbon-laden crude oil out of the ground. What's the price of a barrel of crude now, $50? $60? $70?

Oh, and look out for that oil slick that came out with my green gas. That'll be another $4 you owe me please.

Really, I think Al Gore is on to something. Crude oil is getting too expensive to buy and sell at any decent profit margin. So instead, sell these carbon credits and pretend that it does something. And never mind that CO2 does not drive the climate. Never mind that sunspot activity does drive climate. And never mind that CO2 changes lags climate changes by 800 years. Never mind all that. Move over Al Gore. As of now, I'm going to be competing with you by selling fake carbon credits to concerned enviroweenies. I fully intend to become fabulously wealthy doing so, and I'll have a mansion even bigger than Al Gores. To donate $4 to my carbon credit conservation cause, please send your payment via the paypal button below, and I will immediately eliminate some green gas.

1 comment:

Van Helsing said...

When you get your mansion, don't forget to buy some offsets from yourself to make up for all the energy needed to heat and cool it.