The Wall Street Urinal???

Oh, “Journal.”

We had one of those mass starts of sample papers for everyone’s route for the whole distribution center, and presumably for the whole state of Colorado. Except it wasn’t the Denver Post. It wasn’t the Rocky Mountain News. No. It was the Wall Street Journal. That’s really strange. We’ve never had sample starts of the Journal before. I got 49 new subscribers on my two routes, which in addition to the original four Journal subscribers brings it to a total of 53.

The rumor is that these are all paid subscriptions, not the free samples that the Denver Post is so notorious for. Okay, so if they’re all paid subscriptions, then why are some of these people already canceling? A few of these on my route are going to “resident.” Does the alleged bill also get sent to “resident?” I know that I missed one of these the first day, and never got a complaint about that. If the guy was going to pay for it, and didn’t get it, why would he not complain that he didn’t get it? Just being generous?

I’m not as dumb as I’m being paid to act. Anyway, I’ve decided that it’s good advice to stop delivering to those people that let it pile up. If I’m an agent for the Denver Piss-people-off-with-sample-newspaper-subscriptions Agency, then it’s in my best interest to not piss people off so much that that they call in and stop their sample delivery. According to the rules, I’m supposed to report pile-ups. But if I dumpster them instead, I still get paid $0.50 a week to deliver to the dumpster every day. And the customer is happy, and the Wall Street Journal gets more money from its advertisers for having a larger distribution. And for every two papers that I dumpster, I can get an extra hamburger from Wendy’s dollar menu each week. Woohoo!