Saturday, February 04, 2006

Zealot Seen In Pastry, Fajitas Ordered

Mary was enjoying her coffee and the morning newspaper at a Boise Idaho coffee house when she decided to order a danish, a jelly filled pastry apparently invented in the country of it's namesake. When the breakfast treat arrived, she was shocked to find a clearly insulting caracature of the renouned prophet/zealot, Mohammed within the jelly and swirls of sweetened bread. When Mary informed the waitress about the faux pas, the waitress insisted, "Oh I don't know anything about that. I just deliver them, I don't have anything else to do with them. You'll have to talk to the chef about that."

Mary asked to talk to the chef, and the waitress also refused any knowledge or responsibility for the whereabouts of the chef, as that was not in any way, shape, or form specified within her contract as a waitress. Filled with uncontrollable jelly rage at being snubbed, Mary stormed the kitchen shouting, "There's a zealot in my danish!"

The chef, upon inspecting the pastry, claimed that he didn't intentionally create any image of Mohammed within the danish, but the image spontaneously appeared on it's own. "It's just a trick of your eyes! You're only imagining it! There is no picture of Mohammed in this pastry" the chef further backpeddled.

Meanwhile, Mohammed, sitting at a nearby table wondered what all the excitement was about. Always spoiling for a good Jihad, Mohammed glanced in the general direction of the table containing the offending danish, and rose from his table. "WHAT!!! Another disrespectful cartoon of my beloved prophet!!!" the shiek shrieked. "I am hereby ordering a Fajita against this... this... INFIDEL chef!!! And all other non-muslim chefs throughout the world!!!" The shrieking shiek then produced a 59-year old AK-47 model Russian machine gun from his turbin, and fired a volley of rounds into the cieling.

At the same moment, further unrest eruputed at several muslim political communities known as "countries" contained stronghold fortress "embassies" held by non-muslim european "countries". Nearby these infidel strongholds, groups of angry muslims, subconsciously sensing unrest withing a foreign land, spontaneously stormed the embassies, at first marching with protest signs, and burning flags. The violence quickly turned to throwing of molotov coctails - a homemade gasoline bomb - , pushing down of gates and fenses surrounding the embassies, and a series of suicide bombers exploding within the embassy walls.

In Iran, president Ahmadinejad, who is also offended by cartoon danishes, promised his minion that he would complete his work on a nuclear bomb, and that the first ICBM would be headed straight for Boise, Idaho. Meanwhile, non-muslim chefs everywhere were ordered to behead themselves with their own cleavers. Those who do not own cleavers, or refuse to cooperate will be beheaded by the nuclear shiek, the shrieking shiek, and any compassionate jihadist muslim who feels sympathy for the plight of muslims oppressed by the appearance of cartoon danishes.

Credit where credit is due. Special thanks to,, Outside The Beltway

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