Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Gradeschool Lego Capitalism Banned

It seems that a Seattle school has banned Legos as being too competitive and promoting the immoral concepts of imagination, industrial growth and development, and competitive business venture. Apparently, the kids built an enormous Lego-town, investing emotional involvement in the development of resource allocation, city planning, inter-corporate negotiation, and labor division. When the Lego city was obliterated by a wayward classroom meteorite, the classroom government blamed the ensuing grief of the disaster not on their own lack of anti-trust laws, but on the evils of private property, industrial greed and unfair capitalism. In a Marxist move toward socialism, the post-apocalypse classroom is ensuring equal allocation of Lego blocks to each child regardless of race, creed, skill, responsibility or ambitions of Lego industrialization.

Soon, each child will be allocated an identical parcel of Lego blocks, and will be expected to build identical structures at an identical pace. In order to ensure equality in Lego construction, the children's hands will be connected with rods and motorized with a computerized build-pacing machine. This practice will more efficiently train the kids for later work in factories and cafeteria lines where uniform, precisely paced production is essential to a modern Brave New World.

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