Hidden SUV

Hidden somewhere in this photo is a sporty SUV. See if you can find it. Take your time.

I Got A Basketball Jones Song

Ever since I was a little kid, I remembered this song. I think I heard it on a Cheech and Chong album. But when I bought the album, my mom took it away. Now it's just a memory, ship's smoke on the horizon, fading into a depressing Pink Floyd song. Another brick in the wall.

Then it comes back, out of nowhere. I listen to it every day. That Basketball Jones song was like a Basketball Jones song to me. I couldn't sleep at night without that Basketball Jones song under my pillow at night. I need help, ladies and gentlemen. It's big. It's bigger than life.

Thanks: V the K

Turning Up The Heat On Al Gore

Rather than type in the whole article, I'm just inserting a copy as a picture. You'll have to open the picture to get a legible version. Of course, it's copyrighted. But I think Al Gore would more likely request it's removal than Jonah Goldberg of the Fort Collins Coloradoan.

Gradeschool Lego Capitalism Banned

It seems that a Seattle school has banned Legos as being too competitive and promoting the immoral concepts of imagination, industrial growth and development, and competitive business venture. Apparently, the kids built an enormous Lego-town, investing emotional involvement in the development of resource allocation, city planning, inter-corporate negotiation, and labor division. When the Lego city was obliterated by a wayward classroom meteorite, the classroom government blamed the ensuing grief of the disaster not on their own lack of anti-trust laws, but on the evils of private property, industrial greed and unfair capitalism. In a Marxist move toward socialism, the post-apocalypse classroom is ensuring equal allocation of Lego blocks to each child regardless of race, creed, skill, responsibility or ambitions of Lego industrialization.

Soon, each child will be allocated an identical parcel of Lego blocks, and will be expected to build identical structures at an identical pace. In order to ensure equality in Lego construction, the children's hands will be connected with rods and motorized with a computerized build-pacing machine. This practice will more efficiently train the kids for later work in factories and cafeteria lines where uniform, precisely paced production is essential to a modern Brave New World.

Frequent Sex Is Good

... for the prostate. Advice from Bottom Line Personal.

Very Very Personal

Recent finding: Men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month have one-third lower risk of prostate cancer than men who average four to seven ejaculations monthly. Possible reason: Frequent ejaculation may remove potentially carcinogenic cells from the body. It does not matter whether a man has intercourse or masturbates.

Hippy Parakeet

When I was a kid, my grandma used to raise some chickens with long feathers on their heads. We called them "Hippy Chickens". It looks like somebody has "Hippy Parakeets" now.

Hidden Sports Car

Hidden somewhere in this photo is a high powered sports car. See if you can find it. Take all the time you need, but keep both hands on the keyboard.

Mary Jo Kopechne

In honor of V the K blogrolling me as a regular on Caption This, I'm starting up The Paperboy blog again. Maybe I'll even write something original from time to time.

Mary Jo Kopechne

My name is Mary Jo Kopechne. I would have been 65 years of age this year. Read about me.

When Sen. Ted Kennedy was merely just another Democrat bloating on Capitol Hill on behalf of liberal causes, it was perhaps excusable to ignore his deplorable past.

But now that he's become a leading Democrat attack dog against Republicans positioning himself as Washington's leading arbiter of truth and integrity, the days for such indulgence are now over. It's time for all people to stand up and remind America why this 'chief spokesman' had to abandon his own presidential bid in 1980 - time to say the words "Mary Jo Kopechne" out loud.

As is often the case, Republicans have deluded themselves into thinking that most Americans already know the story of how this "Conscience of the Democratic Party" left Miss Kopechne behind to die in the waters underneath the Edgartown Bridge in July 1969, after a night of drinking and partying with the young blond campaign worker.

But most Americans under 40 have never heard that story, or details of how Kennedy swam to safety, then tried to get his cousin Joe Garghan to say he was behind the wheel.

Those young voters don't know how Miss Kopechne, trapped inside Kennedy's Oldsmobile, gasped for air until she finally died, while the Democrats' leading Iraq war critic rushed back to his compound to formulate the best alibi he could think of.

Neither does Generation X know how Kennedy was thrown out of Harvard on his ear 15 years earlier -- for paying a fellow student to take his Spanish final.

Or why the US Army denied him a commission because he cheated on tests.

As they listen to the Democrats' "Liberal Lion" accuse President Bush of "telling lie after lie after lie" to get America to go to war in Iraq, young voters don't know about that notorious 1991 Easter weekend in Palm Beach when Uncle Teddy rounded up his nephews for a night on the town, on evening that ended with one of them credibly accused of rape.

It's time for Republicans to state unabashedly that they will no longer go along with the "gag" when it comes to Uncle Ted's rants about deception and moral turpitude inside the Bush White House.

And if the Republicans don't, let's do it ourselves by passing this forgotten disgrace around the Internet to wake up memories of what a fraud and fake Teddy really is.

The Democratic Party should be ashamed to have the national disgrace from Massachusetts as their spokesman.

The financial settlement her family received was never published and there was no autopsy conducted to see if she was pregnant.